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Tinder feels very public-and that's good and bad. I didn't get on it for a long time because I'm a private person, and it felt like raising a flag to say, "I'm single, I'm dating. Portland feels like a small town.
This has been most acutely demonstrated over the last week by the data dump from the Ashley Madison platformwhich revealed that the site had millions of straight male subscribers, but very few women signed up. In other words, many of the guys who claimed that they never used it to meet women were probably telling the truth: Anyone who has done online dating seriously will confirm that there always seems to be people lurking on the edges, folks who are up for a chat but not for a meeting.
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But it takes longer for him to jump in and make effort, too. Usually he remains passive, waiting to see if his wife is sincere.
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In some ways, dating was seen as a step towards marriage, not as a separate activity. For those women who did not want to remarry, often because of their strong independence or their contentment with their lives, this lack of a desire to remarry was a barrier to dating. However, in looking toward dating in the future, the currently single women were still open to the possibilities that dating might bring.